FAKE FRIENDS

Hm where can i start with this topic? Well, I decided to talk about this because today has shown me a lot; who my real friends are and who my fake friends are. I’m so surprised with the amount of people who i thought were my best friends. I should have known better. It hurts me in some way because i thought they were genuinely my best friends. Someone who would be there for me, someone who wouldn’t talk behind my back but i guess i thought wrong. They proved me wrong today. In this case it was disappointing to be proven wrong.  I just wish i knew from the start now, i wish i knew so i wouldn’t have made all these mistakes by telling them everything. Everything that only me and they know. I just wish they still have a sense decency not to share it with the world. The thing that made me hate myself even more is that this kind of thing happened before. I could have stopped it there. But i didn’t. Why? Because i thought they could change. Learn from their mistake. I gave them another chance but they threw it away without any thoughts behind it.  I shared all my secrets, my personal thoughts about someone. It’s a shame they couldn’t keep it as a secret. I thought i knew them well enough to be able to trust me. I never guessed that they’d turned out to be this kind of people and that’s what hurts the most. I don’t understand. Why would you want to pretend to be friend with someone, what do you get out of it? It’s an absolute joke. A joke that isn’t even funny. It’s a joke that hurts people. But if that’s what you wanted. Then well done because it did hurt. Do you want a fucking medal or something? *sigh* Losing a friend is hard for me. It’s going to be a massive change but i guess changes are needed. I’m tired being the one who always defend and supports you but oh, this is all i get. You saying things behind my back. I’m sick of it. It needs to stop and it will stop. I’m going to learn from this. I’m going to be careful on who to trust. I need to improve my skill on choosing the right friend. You’re just nothing than a fake friend to me now.